Ooh, it makes me wonder…

First up, thanks to my friends here who have recently contacted me wondering if I was alright.  You lovely people are the reason I keep coming back.  I love you all very much. 

I only realised I hadn’t posted anything for over a month after receiving a few ‘Where are you?’ emails.  As the saying goes, time flies like the wind and fruit flies like a banana…  Following are extracts of different thoughts and goings on in my life in no particular order.

There walks a lady we all know…

My wife and I have been wondering about something recently.  What is it with the recent trend of Hollywood stars who feel the need to botox their faces and have their lips turned into collagen-filled, lumpy messes?  In what universe do they think this looks good?  The reality is they end up looking alike; expressionless automatons with lips that look like a cat’s bum about to leave a little something in it’s litter tray. 

Now, if you find that image is disturbing, imagine trying to kiss one of these stars?  I mean, have you seen Meg Ryan or Nicole Kidman lately?  These formerly beautiful ladies now look somewhat alike and scarily, almost as though they’re related to Joan Rivers.  Could this mean that in years to come, all Hollywood leading ladies will be interchangeable because we won’t be able to tell the difference between them?   I shudder at the thought.

Nicole had a part in the remake of ‘The Stepford Wives’ (never saw it, though and from what I heard I didn’t miss much either).  Maybe she liked the idea of being turned into a husband-slave or a sex-bot so much, she is trying to do it, from her head down, for Keith.  Or maybe, just maybe she has been replaced by a dastardly robot or shape-shifting alien.  Before she couldn’t but now she can get pregnant.  See what I’m saying, huh?  Huh!

In our universe, people age.  They get wrinkles around their eyes, they have laugh lines and parts of their body that formally defied gravity start to dip and sag.  This defines them and gives them something a lot of these actors seem to lack these days and that is character.  I know for a lot of women, there is little in the way of acting roles once you hit a certain age and they can’t all be Helen Mirren or Susan Sarandon (or, for that matter, Julieanne Moore, my personal favourite). 

Just as the size 0 expectation should be abandoned for a realistic one, so too should the idea that perfection equals expressionless plastic faces.  Even cartoon faces have more expression than some of these actors.  Here’s a word for all you wannabe Hollywood stars – individuality!  Try it out, it doesn’t hurt one little bit.

If there’s a bustle in your hedgerow, don’t be alarmed now…

While nothing has been bustling in my hedgerow (whatever the heck that means), we’ve been busy looking after our garden, adding a new bed and getting summer crops sowed.  The more I gardening I do, the more I enjoy it.  We’re just about to finish a sustainable gardening course we’ve been doing every Saturday in November.  This is run for free (yes, you read that right) by our local council.  While the course is lowest-common-denominator learning, we’ve still been able to pick up a few useful hints and tips and are applying our learning to our vegetable garden as we go.  And we’re planning on getting a worm farm very soon, in addition to our regular compost bin.

When we first started a couple of years ago, we had a small bed with a few vegetables and herbs.  Toni was convinced she had a brown thumb and would only end up growing dead twigs.  I wasn’t sure I would actually derive any enjoyment from the process.  I am pleased to say we were proved wrong.

We now have three beds with corn, Chinese greens, eggplant, a few tomato varieties, lettuce, spinach, squash, cucumber, basil, parsley, thyme, rosemary, sage, strawberry, rock melon, water melon, spaghetti squash, beans and snow peas.  We have also planted lots of marigolds, which act as an insect repellent, for the most part.  We don’t use pesticides, instead preferring to use pyrethrum spray to keep the more determined insect pests at bay. 

The sense of satisfaction we have of watching our garden grow, of seeing the bees and other insects coming back into the garden, feeding the wonderful skinks and birds living in the area and eating something we planted is wonderful.

People complain they don’t have enough time or money to enjoy such a hobby.  Then they complain about the prices they have to pay for vegetables at their local supermarket, vegetables that are usually less tasty hybrid varieties bred specifically for supermarkets.  But the time and effort we put in is well rewarded, not just with great-tasting product but with a sense that we’re actually doing something to help the planet, even if it is on a very small scale. 

And if you listen very hard, the tune will come to you at last…

The year has moved so quickly, I am still finding it hard to believe Christmas is nearly here.  We’re planning on spending a quiet one at home, taking it easy and eating way too much.  The weather here is still yet to show its proper spring and summer traits but I have no doubt it while it might be a mild start, summer will be upon us with a vengeance soon enough.

Musically, my year has been very quiet.  The band hasn’t been in the same room together for some time now, although we are planning on recording some tracks soon.  As I explained in a previous blog, this will be my swan song with the band.  Of all the musical genres I’ve explored over the years, hip hop has been the one that has most allowed me to do what ever I like, from blues, to ska, reggae, rock, pop and soul/r ‘n b. 

On the listening side, I’ve been going back to some of my favourites and enjoying some great new tracks as well.  My MP3 listening (mainly while at the gym) has mostly comprised Queens Of The Stoneage, Fu Manchu, Deftones and, conversely or perversely (depending on your perspective) N.E.R.D. 

I’ve also been listening to the new album from The Roots, ‘Rising Down’, which is excellent; the new Roots Manuva album ‘Slime & Reason’ (he is a dub hop MC from London and not even slightly related to The Roots in any way); Beck’s ‘Modern Guilt’ (some say this is a return to form but I’ve always liked his eclectic musical eccentricities); the Eagles Of Death Metal’s ‘Heart On’, featuring Josh Homme from Queens Of The Stoneage; an Aussie group called Empire Of The Sun (their first album ‘Walking On A Dream’ is pop bliss); The Butterfly Effect’s ‘Final Conversation Of Kings’ (a hard rock Aussie act) and, finally, to yet another Aussie hard rock band called Cog and their latest album ‘Sharing Space’. 

We recently went and saw the new Bond flick ‘Quantum Of Solace’.  Yes, there were lots of explosions and stunts galore (the opening sequence is one of the best I’ve seen – sheer thrill a second).  Yes, there were babes and baddies and lots of high-tech gadgetry.  But while money was obviously spent on making the movie look fantastic, the producers must have run out of money for finishing off the story properly as it was pretty damned vacuous, even for a Bond movie.  It was kind of like a 30 second, high end advertisement that went for an hour and a half.  Having said all this, though, I still loved it.  It is big, bodacious fun.

To be a rock and not to roll…

I haven’t been doing much writing lately, instead spending my time trying to sort out a couple of ideas I have for a full-length novel.  This is taking me more time than I anticipated but at the same time, the process has been really fun and quite exciting for me.  I hope to be back to my regular poetry/short story habits soon enough.

Wow, I just realised I have gone on for a number of pages.  If any of you out there have stuck through to the end, well thanks for reading.  Before I go, though, I’d like to again say a huge heartfelt thanks to those of you who were worried about me.  You guys rock!