Caveat: This is supposed to be humorous. But like a lot of humour, there is very much an element of truth to the following. If you think your behaviour matches anything in the following list, but the first emotion you feel is anger towards me, you're obviously a dickwad in denial.

1. Anything can be contained if you hide it well enough: There is nothing wrong with hiding mistakes or misappropriating blame. Just don’t get caught doing it. This can apply to your personal life as well as your professional one. The best option is to blame it on someone who isn’t around to defend themselves. Remember: deniability is your best friend. If you get caught out, blame training, equipment, technique or anything else except yourself. Finger-pointing is great exercise too.

2. Hypocrisy starts at home: Yep, it really does. Never let it be said you can’t have your cake and eat it too. In fact, if you have the cake, make sure you let everyone see you eating it. Don’t try to be the change you want to see but force it on your children or those closest to you. They will grow up feeling repressed and constantly like they owe you something (refer to Point 6 for further information).

Aging is unavoidable. We all age. And because we’re essentially living machines, various things can go wrong. Joints seize up, various parts start breaking down or leaking and we become reliant on an amazing array of curatives and devices to keep ourselves going. Up until now, I always thought there was nothing I could do about it. But I’ve had an idea that might just sweeten the deal.

First, let me explain. Its all to do with genetics. For instance, I have a reasonable head of hair wh...

I’ve noticed a new, rather disturbing modern day syndrome. I’m concerned as there seems to be an increasingly large amount of the population suffering from this condition. “What is it?” I hear you ask in a desperate, paranoid tone. It is a syndrome I call MPB or Mobile Phone Blindness.

The poor sufferers of this syndrome are so unfortunate as to not even be aware they’re suffering from it. They look and act like regular members of the populace until they get a mobile phone in their hands....

I work in an office. I'm sure a lot of JUsers work in offices too. My office is almost Dilbertian in its design, with narrow passage ways between cubicles designed so no matter which way I swing my chair, my knees will bang into something. Most of the workstations are surrounded by pinboard-like material and topped with glass panels, which means anyone walking past look like they are in a big fish-tank. Most choose to pin up things like the 'Hang In There' posters or pieces of inspiration de...