And it is definitely not a sin...
Recently, I was watching telly with my wife. The show, Desperate Housewives, is an intriguing mix of soap opera and murder mystery. I don’t think it is as good as a lot of critics would have us believe, but we don’t mind watching it, but for vastly different reasons I think. I could watch it with the volume turned off as I have always thought Terri Hatcher was a bit of all right (okay, that was a big understatement). And the other woman (who is having an affair with her gardener) is also very pleasant on the eyes. I know this might sound a little juvenile but what the hey.
In the show, the above-mentioned character was talking to a Catholic priest about confession and what it means to those who take part. The priest explained it means the confessor will be absolved from their sins so when they died, they wouldn’t end up in eternal damnation. After some further discussion, the priest asked what she wanted out of life. Her answer was simple: to be happy. His response was to say her answer was that of a spoilt child. It was at about this time I really sat up and really took notice.
I got to thinking about why the priest gave the answer he did (besides “it was in the script”). I don’t really think a priest would give this answer. After some discussion, my wife said she would like to think a priest would say to be at peace with oneself is to be truly happy. Therefore, if you’re feeling guilt or envy or jealousy or any negative emotion, then how can you really be at peace?
I believe it is actually a really sane thing to want to be happy. As for it being the answer of a spoilt child, I would disagree even further. I’m not a child and I’m certainly not spoilt. But I do work hard at being a happy person. Most of the time I succeed but like everyone else, I still get annoyed, angry or depressed. These days, though, I don’t dwell on these feelings. I recognise them, learn from them and move on. But it has taken me many years of practice to be able to do this. And these could hardly be considered the actions of a spoilt child.
As a child my parents spent a lot of time trying to keep my siblings and I happy. And they succeeded most of the time. As I got older, I tried to do the same for myself. I think the problem is when we are young, full of ideas and energy, but very little wisdom. We do things thinking we’re making ourselves happy when in fact we do anything but. This is when a lot of us are susceptible to abusive relationships or friendships based on what we have rather than who we are. I guess this is where we either learn from our mistakes and move forward, or repeat the cycle until we finally learn the lesson.
I believe every person wants to be happy. I believe it is a right for all of us. With any rights come responsibilities and I think this is where a lot of us fall down. Recognising what makes us happy is one thing but being able to be happy without it is another. It takes a lot of soul searching, hard work and constant maintenance. I think this is what causes anxieties and depression in a lot of people. For me, I’d rather be happy and viewed as a spoilt child than anything else. Go on spoil me. I dare you…