UNTITLED

Thanks for inspiration, San Cho, mate

Published on February 2, 2007 By dynamaso In Poetry

UNTITLED – Inspired by San Chonino’s Everyone’s Here

I’m dining on memories
Snacking on snippets of conversation
Gobbling stolen glimpses
Eating up everything I remember
Of you as you were

I loved the you I remember
I only like who you are now
You no longer give enough of yourself
For me to feel a stronger emotion
So I close my eyes and feed

Then…

I’m masticating moments
Sipping on surreptitious sidelong glances
Chewing on the bones we shared
Licking juices of times gone
And wishing we still cooked
Like we did back then

Link

Comments

KellyW0498

on Feb 02, 2007

This was delicious.

Buddah Moskowitz

on Feb 02, 2007

Wow! Nicely visceral. A real command of imagery. Good job! - Buddah

SanChonino

on Feb 02, 2007

Nicely visceral. A real command of imagery.

Amen. Masterfully written . . . glad my inferior lyrics could inspire something like this!

Shovelheat

on Feb 02, 2007

Masterfully written . .

I wish i could do the poetry thing! But sadly I don't know a meter or a pendactic or whatever blah, blah, from a hole in the ground! And, dammit! San Chonino even does it in Spanish! sheesh!

dynamaso

on Feb 02, 2007

Kelly,

delicious

Thanks... Come again

Buddah,

Good job

Thanks to you too.

San Chonino,

Hey, mate, thank you. I really like that my friends inspire me.

Shovel,

I don't know a meter or a pendactic or whatever blah, blah, from a hole in the ground

Neither do I. I just write what I think sounds good.

I posted this too quickly and then couldn't go back and edit it. But I have now. Hopefully it reads a bit better now.

Shovelheat

on Feb 02, 2007

Neither do I. I just write what I think sounds good.

well just keep doin' it Maso 'cause it works for me!

Tova7

on Feb 02, 2007

I wish i could do the poetry thing! But

HA. My poetry attempts suck so bad people ask me NOT to do it anymore.

I don't know much about poetry being published, but I know what I like.

This is def visual and the last four lines totally rock.

~walks away licking fingers~

dynamaso

on Feb 03, 2007

it works for me[/quote]

I'll give it my damndest, mate.

[quote]the last four lines totally rock

Thanks, Tova, pleased you like 'em.

foreverserenity

on Feb 04, 2007

It's funny (strange) I didn't read food in this one. I read of friendship past, or lost....not spending as much time together as before...memories, used to be fun and happy times, not anymore because one or the other don't seem to give time to the friendship anymore.....

Well, maybe I'm reading too much, but I can relate and so maybe that's what I see!

Good prose Mark! Like Braeden, you get an A for effort!

dynamaso

on Feb 04, 2007

Serenity,

The great thing about poetry is interpretation is up to the reader. I will say, this was definitely about friendships and not food. The eating analogy is the thing I borrowed from San Chonino, hence the props.

Hope you're having a lovely weekend.

uDigItTheMost

on Feb 06, 2007

It brought back memories for me, of close friends I lost in touch with and close friends I have now. I sometimes wonder if I embellish my own memories. Were they really that good? Were they really that bad?

Very good, Mark.

dynamaso

on Feb 06, 2007

I sometimes wonder if I embellish my own memories.

I think we're all guitly of this, maybe because we want to remember the details of the good moments but our memories, like bastard tabloid journalists, tend to hang on to all the details of our worst moments.

Very good

Thanks mate.

dynamaso

on Feb 08, 2007

L-l-l-loved the alliteration in that line

Thanks, Whip. It is my favourite line from this piece. I love the way it rolls off the tongue.

dynamaso

on Feb 08, 2007

Now where can I insert 'lubricated rutabegas' in there?

I had to go and look up what a 'rutabega' was... In Australia, we call them swedes or yellow turnips. Now knowing what these are, I have to say inserting a rutabega anywhere doesn't sound as pleasant as my mind conjoured up before finding out what they were

Welcome Guest! Please take the time to register with us.
There are many great features available to you once you register, including:

Richer content, access to many features that are disabled for guests like commenting on the forums.
Access to a great community, with a massive database of many, many areas of interest.
Access to contests & subscription offers like exclusive emails.
It's simple, and FREE!