It is obvious we weren’t meant to be
When I realised I couldn’t get used to the way you smelt
It wasn’t you smelt bad, like the sweaty man
Who always sits next to or near me on the bus
He always somehow manages to be close
First thing in the morning
When my sense of smell is strongest
And my stomach is at its weakest
I’ve tried changing where I sit to no avail
How can I expect a man whose idea of personal hygiene
Is to wave at the ocean as he passes by
To be the sort of person who has a regular preference
For where he likes to sit on the bus
But I digress
It is obvious we weren’t meant to be
When I realised I couldn’t get used to the way you laughed
It is not you don’t have a sense of humour
Not like the grumpy lady who serves in the work cafeteria
I’ve been trying to get her to smile at my banter
She only ever frowns
Throws my eggs and toast on the plate
And slides it at me viciously
I’ve tried to be charming and sensitive
But I’ve got no idea what it would take to see her laugh
Or even raise her lips to smile
Yet I see her smile and laugh with the other staff
So I wonder if its could be me
But I digress
It is obvious we weren’t meant to be
When I realised you weren’t listening to me properly
It wasn’t that I was boring, like this bloke at work
Who could talk about nothing underwater and bore fish
I try to pretend I’m simply not interested
But he doesn’t take a hint
Just keeps on saying whatever whenever
And doesn’t even look at me
I’ve tried to be rude, to discourage him
But he just ignores me and keeps ploughing on regardless
He could make the most interesting
Sound completely mundane and without features
I don’t understand why he picks me
But I digress
Its not that I don’t care, but I digress