Take a number and wait until you're called.
Published on April 27, 2007 By dynamaso In Poetry
I wrote this poem in response to a recent conversation I had with a couple of friends. Actually, the conversation isn't so recent, thinking about it. But it has been replaying in my head ever since I had it. It is becoming increasingly more difficult in this world to simply be a good man. Most people are suspicious and wonder what ulterior motive one might have. How quickly we have forgotten it is good people who helped shape the world we live in. How quickly we have forgotten how to be essentially good ourselves.

ANOTHER GOOD MAN DOWN

He is one of those artistic types
You know, the type to lend
Dreams to children
Words to songs
Colour to paintings
Passion to romance
And wonder to the world

The type who made it
What it is today
Be that as it may
He really doesn’t do much good

He is one of the those optimistic types
You know, the type who lend
Courage to conviction
Peace to the populace
Light to darkness
Meaning to life
And energy to the world

The type who made it
The place it is today
Be that as it may
He really doesn’t do that much

He is one of those sympathetic types
You know, the type to lend
Aid to the infirm
Pleasure to sadness
Water to the drought
Food to the starving
Company to the lonely
And tears to those who can’t cry

The type who made it
The home it is today
Be that as it may
He really doesn’t do that much
I think he has lost his touch

Or maybe we’ve just stop believing in him


Comments
on Apr 27, 2007
I think he has lost his touch


I am not one to critique, Maso (not that to critique is a bad thing per se -It's just that I don't feel at all remotely qualified, LOL) but after reading LW's comment I find myself tending to agree that this should be the last line. But having said that, I also have to say I was blown away too. An excellent, excellent look into the way I'm (sadly) coming to believe things are. Why has he lost his touch I wonder...
on Apr 29, 2007
Or the line remains and gets the reader to rethink what he just read? My thoughts only!

Either way I liked it too!
on Apr 29, 2007
Whip,

I really appreciate your critiques. I post these to JU because I want people to read my poetry but I have been too chickenshit to put anything up at everypoet.com yet. I must admit, I find some of the critique over there pretty bloody brutal. I've yet to post anything, for the above reason and because I haven't had a huge amount of time of late. JU and my friends here are my first online priority. (This is my story and I'm sticking to it).

As for the last line, I think you're right. I do like your suggestion of "Or just maybe, it was us" It fits the tone of what I was trying to say. Thanks again for the critique. It is much appreciated.

Shovel,

Why has he lost his touch I wonder...


The reason for the very last line was because I don't really believe 'his' touch is lost. I think our ability to see and digest goodness has been tainted. It is sad but unfortunately, I also believe it is true for a lot of people. I think this was an attempt to put perspective on the issue for me because, as an optimist, I would like to believe in unmotivated goodness, random acts of kindness and generosity and the compassion of human hearts.

Thanks very much for your comments, mate.

Serenity,

Either way I liked it too!


Thanks for your comments. I think for the sake of flow, Whip is right about the last line. I need to change it to keep the rhythm of the piece. But I sure do appreciate where you're coming from too.