A Stab at a Pantoum

Hey San Chonino, I said I would do it eventually...

Published on September 14, 2007 By dynamaso In Writing

On and on, ad infinitum repetition
The treat is not so sweet with this carry on
Over and over till boredom is a relief
This righteousness feels completely wrong

The treat is not so sweet with this carry on
Ditto after ditto, repeating endlessly
This righteousness feels completely wrong
Rewind, reverse and repeat after me

Ditto after ditto, repeating endlessly
Until any sense of moment is truly gone
Rewind, reverse and repeat after me
The singer might differ but not the song

Echo upon echo, a cacophonous replay
Breaking down any sense of recognition
Word and sound get carried away
On and on, ad infinitum repetition

Comments

SanChonino

on Sep 14, 2007

Nice. I think like you have a nice one here, Maso. It scans well, it flows nicely - the the imagery is great.

Thanks for sharing. I'm currently working on another one myself . . .

RoyLevosh

on Sep 14, 2007

Pure coolness, Maso!

(But I had to look up and see what a pantoum was...

)

dynamaso

on Sep 14, 2007

San Cho,

It scans well, it flows nicely

Thanks mate. Once I knew what I was going to write about, the subject lent itself well to the form.

Roy,

Pure coolness

Nah, nothing cool here mate. But thanks for your kind words anyway.

SanChonino

on Sep 14, 2007

the subject lent itself well to the form.

Sometimes they come absolutely wonderfully . . .

I especially love the subtle nuances in lines as they're repeated and surrounded by diferent ideas.

foreverserenity

on Sep 25, 2007

I agree, the flow was really nice! You've become such a poet Mark!

dynamaso

on Sep 25, 2007

San Cho,

You're so right. I stuggled with the form for ages but then this came out in one hit. I love the way the subconcious mind works.

Donna,

Thank you very much. I've always loved words and over the years have written a lot of lyrics, stories, poems etc. But it was reading the efforts of a few others here that finally encouraged me to put some of my work up. And I won't be stopping any time soon. Thanks for your continued support. You're a love...

KellyW0498

on Sep 26, 2007

cool stuff

dynamaso

on Sep 26, 2007

Kelly,

Thanks. Very much.

Texas Wahine

on Sep 26, 2007

I enjoyed this Maso.

I am not big on poetry, but I agree that this one is definitely worthwhile. I admire your gift.

dynamaso

on Sep 26, 2007

Tex,

The thing about poetry, once you get past all the intellectual poppycock a lot of poets carry on with, is that the like and dislike of it is subjective, at best. It is a bit like song lyrics - some you like and understand while others just don't make any sense.

Either way, I'm glad you like this.

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