Paradise Unfound

Published on November 21, 2007 By dynamaso In Poetry

I used to be able to take it
But my resilience has waned
I shelter behind false exuberance
I can hardly keep it contained

The light I thought I could always see
Were only spots in my eyes
The things I thought I could be
Are now too easily denied

I used to be able to fight it
Now I can hardly lift my hands
The battle I always thought I’d win
I now hardly understand

I tried to unfurl my desire’s wings
To see how high I could fly
But the higher I went all I could feel
Is emotions as empty as the sky

I used to be able to take it
Now all I’m good for is giving in
I’ve abandoned all I could hope
All I can see ahead is death’s rictus grin

Darkly veiled are my intentions
And far too numerous for me to say
Guide me, oh my sweet desirous love
To the beautiful beyond far away

Comments

RoyLevosh

on Nov 22, 2007

The battle I always thought I’d win
I now hardly understand

I hear ya, brother. Loud and clear.

dynamaso

on Nov 23, 2007

Roy,

I hear ya, brother. Loud and clear.

Thanks mate. I know you do.

You haven't seen struggle until you see me trying to get out of bed some mornings.

foreverserenity

on Nov 23, 2007

Aw it would be so easy to give in like that, and heavens know sometimes it's hard not to! I hope you don't either but I can see how the path becomes jagged and take you there!

dynamaso

on Nov 25, 2007

Serenity,

I should preface poems such as this with a note saying: "Not to be read as though I feel this way". I have a capacity to be able to put myself into a character, if you will, in order to write different pieces. Most of my characters are people I know.

But I do appreciate your concern. Don't worry, I'm still happy, optimistic and positive.

uDigItTheMost

on Nov 27, 2007

Good work, Mark.

Do people really want paradise? My version of paradise needs to be like my favorite song. Depending on my mood my favorite song is constantly changing, and that's exactly how I would want my paradise.

I have a capacity to be able to put myself into a character, if you will, in order to write different pieces.

I have the same ability. There have been times where I have written things and people thought something was wrong with me. True there's something wrong with me but not the things you see in my writings.

Zoologist03

on Nov 27, 2007

Whew. That's a good one. Though I'm not one to give in to despair, we all feel that way at least once in awhile. You've articulated it perfectly.

~Zoo

dynamaso

on Nov 27, 2007

Chris,

Thanks mate.

Do people really want paradise?

Yes, I think they do. As you suggest, though, being as we're fickle mortals, paradise, as in Biblical or Koranic terms, would be a different place for each of us. The other thing that occurs to me is the very Zen thought that there is no such thing as paradise but what we make ourselves. This, of course, means we're capable of creating our own Hell too and as we know, a lot of people have no trouble doing this.

but not the things you see in my writings.

Are you sure about that?

dynamaso

on Nov 27, 2007

Zoo,

That's a good one

Thanks mate.

Though I'm not one to give in to despair, we all feel that way at least once in awhile

Me neither. Writing things like this, though, are a great way of exorcising all the bleak thoughts, though.

You articulated it perfectly

Thanks again.

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