How is this for a premise: making an ass of yourself can put points on your wisdom scorecard if you make an ass of yourself and don’t even know you’re doing it. The getting of wisdom comes later when you realise and then go out of your way to eat humble pie and apologise for your behaviour. I don’t think this is being regretful either, because the getting of regrets is from doing something you KNOW to be wrong at the time. Making an ass of one’s self is usually done completely unselfconsciously.
I believe this works on many levels. If you apply similar logic to our greatest inventors, you can see exactly how this works. Edison sees the filament glowing. He tries to get the filament brighter, hastily applying more current. The filament burns out and he is back to square one. He continues to repeat this mistake until he realises the filament is burning out because he is applying too much current or applying it too quickly. The next time, he very slowly brings up the amount of current and remembers the last gradient before the filament burns out. Et voila, the light bulb is born (please allow my licentious adjustment of history for my own purposes – I’m sure you get my drift).
I remember being told as a child that to repeat a mistake was to have not learnt the lesson initially. But it always bothered me the way we are drawn to repeating our mistakes. I believe this is because we haven’t learnt from them so we are caught in a ‘mistake loop’ until we get it right. Then we learn to apply this lesson to other situations. This is really what wisdom is about. Not learning the lesson but learning how to apply it to other situations.
The thing is, many people go out of their way to make asses of themselves but do it with obviousness and obliviousness best reserved for people who do really dangerous jobs. This makes a mockery of my above statement about regrets. At first, I was confused about my observations but I believe this group, which I call Obvious-asses, don’t look back at their behaviour with any regret. They have a sociopath’s commitment to being ignorant and feel an unequivocal right to their behaviour.
I’ve seen grown adults exhibit behaviour that normally wouldn’t be tolerated in a kindergarten. These ‘adults’ explain their behaviour away as ‘stress’. Hmm, now, as a teenager, if I were to rant and scream at someone over an insubstantial incident or abuse someone who didn’t deserve it in the normal course of a school day, the very least I could have expected was a clip under the ear. Under less than perfect conditions, I would probably have picked on the wrong person who would have sought vengeance the only way school boys do: in a circle of peers all yelling ‘fight, fight, fight’. I probably would have got a busted lip or a black eye and would have gone home thinking, ‘okay, note to self – don’t be such a prick’ or ‘learn to fight’ or maybe both.
The ‘stress’ excuse indicates to me the inability for the individual in question to cope with day-to-day life. I’ve been in ‘stressful’ jobs but I haven’t felt the need to be a right arsehole to anyone who crosses my path. I’ve known a number of people in my past who do react this way. It is sad, pathetic and, when it really comes down to it, a ridiculous way for any reasonably intelligent adult to behave. These folk only belittle themselves and create drama where none previously existed. Unbeknownst to them, they actually raise their stress levels by behaving this way. Over time, their body will start to exhibit the wear and tear caused by stress. Poor sleep, accelerated heart rate, high blood pressure, digestive problems, impotency and hair loss are just some of the physical manifestations of prolonged stress.
Why do I know about what stress does? Sometime ago, I allowed myself to succumb to the ravages of stress. I lost my appetite and ended up with colic and digestive problems. Before I realised what was happening I lost about 10 kilos (this is a way of dieting I would not recommend to anyone, no matter how desperate). I had to radically change my diet, give up some of the foods I’ve loved and enjoyed all my life and change the way I dealt with stress. I consider myself lucky because my stress only manifested itself in my digestive system. I could have ended up with heart problems, migraines or any number of other more debilitating conditions.
I am not saying I have wisdom. I don’t think I’ve lived long enough to have gained any wisdom. I have learnt many things, sure, but I know there are still so many things I want to learn, so many things I want to try. Maybe by the time death comes knocking, I’ll be able to sit back and consider myself wise. Who knows? Maybe true wisdom will come after I’ve died. But I will keep making mistakes and keep trying to correct them. It is the only way I know to truly work at becoming a better man.