The afternoon is a splendidly languid summer one, the sort that makes teenagers skip school in favour of being pummelled by surf and wrestling in the sand. I feel like skipping the afternoon drudgery myself. But such is life for an adult, particularly in the western world, that they have to give up these simple pleasures in favour of doing something very few of them honestly enjoy: work.
So I go back into my overly air-conditioned office, shivering as I take my seat. The corner workstation is where I spend more waking time than anywhere else, including my home. The more I think about this, the more ridiculous it sounds. I don’t own my apartment and certainly couldn’t afford to buy it at the moment. The rent itself is excessive but I expected it to be when I chose to live in a beachside suburb. On paper, I am wasting a lot of money, given the precious hours I spend in my home. But I really wouldn’t have it any other way. Well, of course, like anyone I’d like to be in a position where I didn’t have to work for a living, at least not at anything I’d call work anyway.
I guess there is some sort of compensation in knowing I’m not alone. But there is a glaring question in my mind. If very few of us are happy working like we do, what can we do to make a change? This question is ponderous at best. The more I think about it, the more different solutions come to mind and the more I give over to thinking about this, filling up my head with more unnecessary questions.
Personally, I’d like to take more time to work in the garden of my soul. At the moment, it feels a bit over run with lots of different thoughts and ideologies. I’d like to weed it out and build myself a couple of new garden beds. These will most likely be Zen gardens, where I can reflect and deflect a lot of the information I take in on a daily basis.
I’d also like to have the time to work at my relationship with my wife. This is not because we’re having problems but because she deserves it. Why is it a lot of couple’s only start working at their relationships with each other only when they start having problems? I want the time to actively spend working with her to become even closer, stronger and more of a team than we already are.
I’d like to take time to be able to help those less fortunate than me. Whether this means serving food in a street kitchen, volunteering my services to community groups or local hospitals, my time could be better spent doing this than sitting here answering the phone for my boss who has voicemail and can pick up her own messages. But it is partially what I’m employed to do, so I try to do it as efficiently and as happily as possible.
I’d also like to take the time to build my own house, grow my own vegetables, write the novel I know is in me, finish off the screenplay I’ve been working on for years, look after destitute children and animals and start painting again. I’m not unhappy with the things I’m doing now; I just can’t see any real constructiveness (if there is such a word) in what I’m doing. I work 9 and ½ hours a day (if you include travelling time and breaks), the rest of my waking hours are spent with my wife. I also try to keep fit and try to indulge my creativity, even a little bit. I do my share of the cooking and housework; relax by watching television with her and then its time for sleep. Weekends are spent catching up on the things I couldn’t do through the week and for spending time with friends. Oh yeah, and relaxing, trying to let any of the stresses of the week dissipate. It doesn’t leave much time for the higher pursuits.
The great ship of life I was planning to sail when I was younger has actually turned into a rowing boat and it takes a lot of hard work to get anywhere. For now, I guess I’m happy rowing. But I do look forward to the day when favourable winds will blow and catch the sails of my life. Then I can drift away with my loved one and our only aim will be the distant horizon…