Or how I got old without really trying...
Recently I had the opportunity to attend my 25th High School Reunion. To start with, I couldn’t believe 25 years had passed so quickly. I also found it difficult to believe some of the people I saw at the reunion were ever at school with me. A lot of them looked so old. I was also surprised when one of the Brothers, our former vice-principal and disciplinarian, couldn’t remember me at all. He walked around the room shaking hands with all of us, relaying little anecdotes he could remember about each as he did so. He got to me, I said my name and he just went blank. I thought about the implications of this. I was never a bad boy at school, so I didn’t spend any time in his office. Maybe I was just so insignificant that I never came up on his radar. Or does it mean that the Brother in question was never attracted to me so why would he remember me? (Yes, this is a joke and one in poor taste, granted, but you don’t know the brother in question).
The biggest surprise of the evening was the reaction a lot of the boys had when I introduced myself. It started when I first walked into the club. A number of old boys were standing at the front entrance directing people to the function. As I approached, one of them pointedly said there was a private function being held in the bar and if I wanted a drink, I would have to go back outside and down stairs to the bottom bar. When I told them I was there to attend the function, both looked at me and one asked my name. When I told him, the first words out of his mouth were ‘No fucking way’. This seemed to sum up the reaction of a lot of people I spoke to on the night.
The reason for this reaction, I believe, had a lot to do with how I finished my final year of high school. My father was in the R.A.A.F. and early in my final year, he was posted out of state. In discussion with the family, it was decided he would go ahead while the rest of the family would stay so I could finish off my HSC year. One of my brothers was also doing his School Certificate, so it seemed like the smart thing to do, limiting any disruptions to our studies. When my brother and I finished our final exams, the family packed and moved to the ACT. Having spent all my high school years by the sea, going inland was not a thing I wanted to do. Once I got to Canberra, I hooked up with an old friend and he and I took off to travel around Australia (but that is another story).
Moving like this meant I soon lost contact with all my school friends, with the exception of two of my closest mates. I’d been unable to attend any previous reunions due to a number of reasons, the main one being I was usually on the other side of the country when the functions were being held. So my appearance apparently, both metaphorically and physically, caused a bit of a stir. I even had a couple of people say they thought I had died or something. Instead of the shy, quiet conservative boy they remembered from school, I was now a lot taller, not conservative or shy and certainly not quiet.
While it was great to catch up with the old gang, I spent more time talking to a lot of the guys I never had much time for at school (or maybe I should say the guys who never had much time for me). Most of the boys were married and, like the good Catholic lads they were raised to be, nearly all have kids.
The biggest surprise of the night was finding out what everyone had been doing since school. The gang I hung out with at school have such a diverse list of careers, it is amazing. One is a Detective Sergeant with the NSW Police Force, one is a professional tennis coach, two are teachers, one works for a large banking IT company, two are doctors, one works as a documentary maker and one runs his own business as a pool installer. The funny thing is none of us are actually doing the things we said we’d like to do, with one exception: me. I always said I’d like to be a musician and while I’ve not had the success I would like to have, I am still very much involved in this pursuit. Most of the guys admitted they had given away their dreams and settled for more stable jobs and lives. And some of these guys were the most daring, foolhardy thrill seekers I’ve ever met. What a turnaround.
While it was really good to see everyone, I don’t think I’ll be rushing out to catch up with any of these guys soon. School was a time of enforced learning, behaviour and common adversaries, which can make for tight friendships. But having experienced the real world and all the life and dramas that it presents, my school days pale into insignificance. Sure, for some of the boys, those days were some of the best days of their lives. For me, my best days are still yet to come. I think this is what separates me from a lot of my former class mates. And a good thing it is too.